About a month ago I found my first grey hair. I remember thinking, WTH, I’m only 29! Isn’t that a little pre-mature? Could it be stress? Maybe I need a lifestyle change?
Pre-mature or not, there it was, standing tall and proud. So I plucked it, and I put it in my jewelry box for safekeeping. I figured it was a momentous occasion, one that needed to be remembered. Hey, I never said I was normal…
So, why am I telling you this? Because, most women would’ve plucked that little grey hair, torched it with a lighter and hairspray, and then flushed it down the toilet. Not Me!
The truth is, I’m not afraid of getting older. Grey hair, crows feet, and an uncontrollable bladder does NOT scare me. You want to know what does?
GEESE! That’s right, I said GEESE! Not the Canadian kind either, they’re pretty mellow, the white ones with the long necks and the orange beaks! They scare the SHIT out of me! And it just so happens that “feeding time” at the Park is one of my daughters favorite activities.
I try to play it cool, I really do, but I can’t help it. They start hissing, and I start running. They seem to attack in pairs, and I think they can smell fear. That would explain why they always seem to single me out. I imagine that their conversation must go something like this: (I don’t know why, but I always imagine that they sound something like Cheech & Chong….don’t ask.)
Goose 2: “Sweeeet.”
Goose 1: “Bet we can make her pee this time.”
Goose 2: “Sweeeet.”
So how did I go from grey hair to geese? To be perfectly honest, when I was writing this, I was trying to come up with a list of things that terrify me. Since my last visit to the park was less than 3 days ago, that terror is still fresh in my mind.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, aging is just a fact of life. There’s nothing you can do about it, so why not welcome it with open arms and wear it like a badge of honor?
Many of you may be thinking, “Ya sure, wait till you’re 40, 0r 50, or 60, then let’s talk.”
You know what, you might be right, but for now, I’ll take a little grey hair, and a few nose hairs, over a stupid Goose any day!