So the other night, I discovered my worst nightmare……

The BOUNCY HOUSE FROM HELL!

In other words, one of those air filled bouncy houses with 15 screaming children.

Bouncy HouseSeriously, shouldn’t there be some rules associated with this sort of adolescent fun?

For example:

  • DO NOT smash other kids in the face with those ridiculous air filled posts.
  • Do NOT climb UP the slide.
  • DO NOT trample over small children.
  • DO NOT shove other children out of the way so that you can get to the slide first.

I’m gonna be honest here…….

I have some control issues, and that combined with the fact that I’m a bit over-protective, DOES NOT mesh well.

Granted, Z held her own pretty well, she even seemed to enjoy herself, but for whatever reason, I was completely out of control!

I think it has something to do with the fact that I am also, extremely claustrophobic. Seeing her trapped inside like a little caged animal, with all those other wild animals, actually made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

I can’t even tell you how many children I yelled and screamed at.

“HEY! It’s not your turn! Move BACK!”

“Um, excuse me….ya you….. the slide is not a ladder, it’s a slide, and you generally slide DOWN a slide, not up….so GET OUT OF THE WAY AND LET THE OTHER KIDS GO!”

Like I said, out of control….

The guy that was actually running the show, asked me if I needed a job. HA! You couldn’t pay me enough!

The funny thing is, you could totally tell who my daughter was too. Picture this…….

Here’s this crazy lady, with her nose pressed up against the mesh lining watching the kids, yelling on occasion, even fuming a bit. Then, there’s this little girl in the middle of the Bouncy House From HELL, screaming at the top of her lungs….”YOU STOP IT RIGHT NOW! HEY, YOU STOP IT RIGHT NOW!”

I’ve never been so proud……..You tell’em Z!

All in all, it was actually a pretty good night. We got to hang out with the family, listen to some awesome live music, enjoy some fresh kettle corn…….mmmmm…..my favorite, and we got to watch some lady do aerial acrobatics in a tepee with silk…….ya, it’s kind of hard to explain. Guess you had to be there. Z got a kick out of it though. She just kept clapping and clapping. When it was all over, she said, “I do that Mommy”.

I said, “of course you can baby, but not today,” as I steered her away from the tepee.

When the night was finally over, she was exhausted, I was exhausted, and I was beginning to lose my voice. Perhaps a little too much screaming……

Of course, we had to return to the Bouncy House From HELL one more time before we left.

I told her, “5 more minutes and then we have to go home.”

I quickly realized my error after the 5 minutes were up.

Me: “Hey Z, it’s time to go, come on.”

She then proceeds to bounce right by me and head for the other side, pretending not to hear me.

I started to panic…..

What if she doesn’t listen to me? What if I have to go in after her? Oh good Lord, there’s NO way I’m going in there! Nope, I’ll just have to sit here and wait until they shut it down……….. But that could be hours, and hours. I can’t wait that long! I have to get her out of there!

Me: “Z, NOW! It’s time to go…………How about we have some ice cream when we get home?”

That got her attention. Thank God! A little bribery goes a long way in my book.

As we said good bye to the Bouncy House From HELL, I had to promise to bring her back sometime soon.

Next time, I think I’ll take a Valium first.

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