Remember my Nemesis, the CAR DOOR?

Well, yesterday the CAR DOOR sent an assassin……We literally had a death match in the living room!

I SWEAR! There’s even collateral damage to prove it!

I almost lost an EYE!

Okay, so let me explain……

It began like any other day. Two pots of coffee, 30 minutes of alone time, waffles, a happy Smiley, and a grouchy Z.

I’m not sure if it was the two pots of coffee, or the waffle smothered in peanut butter, but I had an abnormal burst of energy and decided to clean my house.

Things were going well. Smiley went down for a nap and Z was enjoying some quality time with Cogsley…. that’s her robot.

I was scrubbing the floor when Z announced that Cogsley was hungry. Her request, or should I say his, was applesauce.

Easy enough, so I grabbed some applesauce from the fridge, poured it in a bowl, and grabbed a spoon.

Before I gave it to her, I explained that robots don’t actually eat applesauce. My fear was that she’d drown poor Cogsley in applesauce. So I told her, applesauce is bad for robots, they can’t eat it, and if she tries to feed it to him, he’ll get sick.

Feeling like I had the situation handled, I grabbed the bowl and headed towards the living room. That’s when it happened…….the applesauce assassin ATTACKED!

Somehow, I dropped the bowl! Of course, my CAT-LIKE reflexes immediately pounced into action, and I tried to catch it before it hit the living room floor, but I wasn’t quick enough.

It landed applesauce side up……and then……..it EXPLODED!!!!

It was like an APPLESAUCE GRENADE! I flew EVERYWHERE, including my right eye.

I staggered back into the kitchen, ears ringing, eye burning, and immediately reached for the spray nozzle at the kitchen sink.

Seriously, applesauce in the eye SUCKS!! Not only does it burn like HELL, but it’s chunky, and there’s no other way to get it out, you have to dig, and dig, and dig!

When I finally regained my vision, I went back to ground zero to check for casualties.

What a MESS! The couch, the chair, and the carpet!

So I clean it up the best I can and step back to admire my work. Z does to, that’s when she spots it……”Oh NO! ” she says.

“What?”

She points to the ceiling, “Oh No!”.

You HAVE GOT to be kidding me…. there’s applesauce on the FREAKING ceiling!

But they’re vaulted, there’s no way in HELL I can reach that!

Applesauce 2

So I call my husband……

Me: “Hey, how’s it going?”

Husband: “Good…..what’s up?”

Me: “Well, I just wanted you to know that I was attacked.”

Husband: “Okay………Please tell me there wasn’t a CAR DOOR involved?”

Me: “Oh, I’m pretty sure the CAR DOOR was involved. That’s probably who sent the applesauce assassin.”

Husband: “Applesauce assassin?”

Me: “Don’t worry, I took care of him…..But there was some collateral damage.”

Husband: “Collateral damage?”

Me: “Ya, you might want to bring home a ladder, cause there’s a little applesauce on the ceiling.”

Husband: “Applesauce on the ceiling?”

Me: “Yep!”

Husband: ……sigh……”Okay.”

There, problem solved……..at least I thought it was.

You want to know what happens when you leave applesauce on the ceiling, ALL DAY LONG……..

Applesauce Damage

It EATS the paint……

Lovely isn’t it? At first I thought I’d immediately paint over it, but now that I think of it, I might keep it. Let it serve as a reminder to any other assassins……that’s what happens when you mess with me…..

Bring it CAR DOOR!!!!!

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2 Responses to The Applesauce Assassin

  1. Beatty says:

    Oh my GOSH! Thank You SO Much for the laugh! Bless your heart! The ceiling is priceless.

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