WARNING: Content in this post may not be suitable for everyone, especially if you’re eating lunch, or thinking about eating lunch, or just ate lunch. It may trigger a gag reflex, or worse, you may lose your appetite, or your lunch. Consider yourself WARNED.
So today was a pretty good day! (Don’t worry, I’m leading up to the retched part)
It began with a mission to Kmart. I was accompanied by Z, of course, and my sidekick as always, Grandma. The mission was simple, Grandma would distract Z while I played the Easter Bunny and picked out a nice pre-made Easter basket, cause I’m lazy like that.
It went off without a hitch, aside from the fact that I had to wait in line for like, EVER! Apparently Kmart is hiring, if anybody is interested…..
So after we dropped Grandma off we headed back to the house. Z was extremely disappointed that Grandma wasn’t going to accompany us home, and by disappointed I mean, she was throwing a huge tantrum in the back seat. So, to calm her rampage I told her she could play outside for a little bit before nap-time, even though we were already 10 minutes behind schedule.
So we get home and decide to take a quick walk. Now, just so you all know, I am currently potty training Z. We have good days and bad days, and so far today has not been a very good day.
We ventured out into the back-back-yard, quite a ways from the house, then Z pipes up and tells me she has to go potty. I knew we wouldn’t make it back to the house, and I refused to have another accident, so I told her she could pee in the yard.
I whip down her pants, grab her little legs, and pick her up……She starts peeing……things are going well…….then I hear the plop…..GREAT! Now there’s a pile of kid crap in the middle of the backyard and I have nothing to wipe her with. So, I hoist her up, poopy butt and all, and beeline it for the house.
We get there, we wipe, then I grab a handful of toilet paper and rush back out into the yard, cause you can’t just leave kid crap lying around. So I find the spot……..what the HELL……where’s the poop……I swear it was right there!
Then my dog meanders over, looking guilty, licking her chops like she just enjoyed the most AMAZING meal EVER!
“Seriously dog, you ate kid crap!”
She just looks at me like, “Ya, why not?”
As I’m standing there, feeling ill, I recognize this sweet little voice behind me saying, “Poo-poo, Mya ATE MY POO-POO!” And like clockwork, the gagging begins…..not me, Z!
She is so distraught that Mya ate her poo-poo that she can’t even focus, or function! She just keeps gagging.
Me: “Oh honey, it’s okay, dogs do that from time to time.”
I thought that once I got her in the house, she’d forget about the dog eating her poo-poo, but I was sorely mistaken. Now, every time she even looks at the dog, she starts gagging again!
Poor kid! At first I thought the gagging thing was kind of funny, but now, I just feel bad for her. I hope she grows out of it, and I seriously hope that she forgets this incident, or Mya may need a new home…..just kidding!