So I understand that you’re pretty awesome! You’ve been named TV’s toughest trainer, and that’s really something. I get that you’re committed to getting big results, I am too, to a certain extent. I also understand that you’ve inspired millions to get in shape. You are the QUEEN of fitness! A motivator and a role model!
I get it, I really do, and I appreciate you, but I have to vent, so don’t take any of this personal. In fact, you should see it for what it is, a testament to you, and all that you do….
I HATE your FACE! And your SIX PACK! You make me physically sick! Seriously, during yesterday’s workout, I thought I was going to puke!
Because of YOU and your stupid squats I have to hold on to the counter just to lower my fat ASS on to the toilet! Because of YOU, my 2 year old has to help me get back up! It’s because of YOU, that when I dropped my toast on the floor this morning I said F’ it, and called the dogs in to clean it up! Because of YOU, I had to roll myself out of bed this morning! Because of YOU, I now have this uncontrollable twitch in my left arm!
You’re supposed to make me healthier, more energized, not lazy and pathetic! Because of YOU, I was too lazy to make my family a decent dinner last night!
Seriously! You SCARE ME! And that was just Level 1! I’m guessing Level 3 is CERTAIN DEATH! I’m not looking forward to our next meeting, but I know it must be done. And if you’re as good as you say you are, in 30 day’s I will LOVE YOU!
P.S. “I hate your face” may have been a little harsh. And Jillian, if you’re reading this, please don’t hurt me….