Okay, so my new favorite show is……….. Nanny 911.
I know it’s been on the air since like 2004, but I’ve only recently grown interested. I think it has something to do with the fact that I can now relate to some of these families. Although most of them have like 4 or 5 little demons running around, and I only have one.
I still remember the first time I saw the show way back before Z was born, I was terrified……
“Seriously, did that boy just spit in his Momma’s face!”, “OMG, how horrible, my kids will NEVER act like that!”
Little did I know that I too would spawn a demon of my own some day.
So what sparked my sudden curiosity?
The other day Z had a RAGER. I call them RAGERS, because a “fit” is just too tame of a word to describe it. It’s like Hurricane Z bearing down. All the air in the room gets sucked out, shit starts flying, and the noise level goes through the roof.
So anyways, I do what I usually do, hold her down until the worst of it passes. It’s like trying to contain a wild animal with sharp teeth and flying fists….it’s not pretty. While I’m sitting there, trying to maintain control, I start thinking…..
Is it really supposed to be this bad? What am I doing wrong? Why is she so angry?
I realize that Z has to learn how to control her emotions, and that it’s my job to teach her that control, but I’m not really sure how. I need help!
So, that got me thinking…… I wonder if I could find that show on Netflix, the one with the Nanny that goes around fixing peoples kids. Maybe that would help me.
So I found it, and immediately started watching it. I have to say, I’m impressed. It’s given me a whole new outlook on parenting.
One show in particular really got my attention. They had 5 boys, all with red hair. One set of 5 year old triplets, and one set of 3 year old twins! They lacked proper discipline, as Nanny would say. In other words, they were the spawns of Satan, even their hair was on FIRE!
When the kids acted up, Mom just yelled, and yelled, and yelled. She didn’t really do anything. There were no consequences. Only when things got completely out of control did Dad step in and start making threats ,”Get back in that bed, or I’m going to spank you.”
So, Nanny shows up, and the parents are like, “Seriously, you think you can fix this? Go right ahead!”. They had absolutely no faith what-so-ever!
And when I say that their kids were out of control, that’s an understatement. They beat on each other, constantly. There was so much anger flying around that house, Hurricane Z looked tame in comparison. The kids were angry, the parents were angry, I think even the dog was angry.
So what does Nanny do? She tells them, no more yelling, no more spanking, no more threats, and no more chances. Every action has a consequence. Use positive reinforcement verses spanking. The kids are angry because you are angry, and you’re doing a shitty job of hiding it.
Nanny, you are so right!
It’s funny, I could see it all too clearly watching from the outside looking in. But when you’re inside, it’s almost like your blind. How can I expect Z to control her emotions, when I can’t even control mine. I get so angry with her for not listening, I lose my temper, and then I yell, and I make threats.
Someone once told me, don’t make a threat unless you intend on keeping it. That same person also told me that once, while eating dinner, her daughter was acting up. Her husband told her daughter that if she continued to act like a baby he was going to take her bed away and make her sleep in a crib. Talk about a threat! Guess what he did? Yep, he took down her toddler bed, and put the crib back up. I don’t remember what happened after that, I think because I was too busy being impressed with the follow through, but I’m pretty sure it did the trick.
So that’s it! I’ve stopped yelling. I refuse to let my anger fuel her tantrums, and when I get to three, that’s it! No more chances. I don’t make threats anymore, I only make promises, and there is a consequence for every action.
It’s been about a week since I made this vow, and things are going well. Since I’ve reined in my anger, Hurricane Z hasn’t had any RAGERS, only small “Thunder Storm” tantrums. I personally consider that a HUGE success.
There’s no manual for parenting. Every kid is different, and as much as I wish that Z came with a manual, one with pictures so that my husband could read it too, it’s okay, cause I’ll eventually figure her out. Even if it is on her 18th birthday……..