I am exhausted……..The two pots of coffee, and one Blue Pomegranate Xenergy drink, did not last me near as long as I needed it too.

Z is sick, some kind of cold. Snotty nose, sneezing, watery eyes, all around pretty miserable. No fever yet, thank God, but it’s still early.

Anyways, I’d normally stay home, keep her locked inside like a caged animal, but since today was my only FREE day this week, we had to venture out.

Walmart was our first stop of the day, and for the most part it went pretty well, considering all the ways that it could’ve gone terribly wrong.

Now Z, does NOT ride in the cart. I gave up on that a long time ago. She likes to walk next to the cart, or in most cases, run ahead and direct traffic. I figure, as long as she stays close and doesn’t cause too much of a ruckus, it’s a win, win. Not only do I NOT have to listen to her scream, “Up Momma, Up Momma”, but on normal, feel good days, she also runs off all that excess energy. Since today was not one of those days, I knew I had to make it quick.

So, with my list in hand we set out on a mission. Get what we need, and get the HELL out!

Half way through Z decides that she’s tired……That’s a FIRST!

So I asked if she wanted to ride in the cart……No, of course not, she wants me to hold her. Holding a 30 pound kid, while pushing a cart heaped with crap is not my idea of a fun workout, but oh well, we get what we get.

So we make it out of Walmart alive, and tantrum free…..things are going well. I decide to make one quick stop at the Grocery Store. My fridge is in desperate need of something healthy, like fruit. Call me a snob, but I don’t like buying fresh fruit from Walmart….it just seems wrong.

So we get to the Grocery Store. I park, we rush inside and hit the produce department……

With Z by my side we pick out some apples, some banana’s, and some super expensive grapes. Now normally, I would NOT pay $2.98 a pound for crappy looking grapes, but since they are Z’s favorite, I do it anyways. Then Z spots some strawberries…..

Z: “Strwaberry Momma! Stwaberries!”

Before I can stop her, Z grabs a handful of what she thinks are strawberries and literally throws them into the cart!

GREAT!  Now I have radishes everywhere!

Luckily the produce guy feels bad for me, grabs a bag and helps me collect all the loose radishes. He’s giggling, I’m steaming, and Z is crying because she really wanted those DAMN strawberries!

I calm her down and tell her we should go look for the real strawberries.

Me: “Z, over here! Look, those are real STRAWBERRIES!”

Z: “Oooh, stwaberries!”

I then notice and older lady approaching. Great! I can see it now! She’s going to tell me that I need to control my 2 year old, I just know it!

But instead, she leans in and says…..

Lady: “Is her name Z?”

Me: “Yes.”

Lady: “That’s so funny, my dogs name is Z.”

Me: “Wow, that is funny……………(awkward silence, don’t know what else to say.)

Now, she seems like a nice enough lady, and I’m NOT really offended, it’s just one of those moments that you want to say, “REALLY! Wow, I bet she’s a Pomeranian, or one of those other yappers, cause that’s what Z does all day long, yap yap yap yap, and then she pees on the floor, does your Z pee on the floor too?”

But I don’t, I put my filter back into place and we move on.

We finally get out to the parking lot, and that’s when I realize, I must’ve been in a hurry when I parked, cause I am totally line-hugging, if not over the line. The truck that parked next to me, must have wanted to teach me a lesson, because there is absolutely NO room for me to get in!

GREAT!

So after I load the groceries, in the passenger seat of course because there is NO room anywhere else, I then try to carefully climb over them, so as not to squish any of my super expensive grapes.

I finally get seated and look up to make sure nobody is watching. I check my rear-view mirror and see Z…..my sweet little Z, smiling from ear to ear, with snot dripping from her nose, eyes watering, and her little hands clapping……

“Good job Momma!” she says.

God I love this kid! Seriously, I should be crying right now, but I’m not, I’m laughing my ASS off, cause my kid just made my day, again……

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