I want to take a second to talk about the so-called “glow” of pregnancy.
I know it’s been said before, by soooo many other women, but I just can’t help myself. Not only is the “GLOW” a bunch of crap, but I have yet to meet a pregnant woman that actually glowed.
I looked it up, just to be sure, and while pregnancy hormones can make your skin change, it’s usually for the worse, not for the better.
In my case, one of my toughest challenges and annoyances has been acne. Now, I’ve never had perfect skin, but I at least had it under control, that is until those damn pregnancy hormones destroyed my body.
Maybe it’s the excess oil. From a distance, maybe the oil makes me glisten and glow, but up close, all you can see is the mini constellation on my face, and yes, the big dipper is featured on my chin.
So, that brings me to my next thought.
I honestly don’t remember being quite so miserable during my first pregnancy. You know how they say that your 2nd pregnancy always differs from your first, well that couldn’t be more true in my case.
Granted, I was working during my first. A nice cushy desk job it was, and I didn’t have to chase around a 3 year old, but it’s more than that. It just seems less, I don’t know, exciting.
Now, I’m not saying that I’m not excited to meet Baby #2, because I am, and I’m so thankful, but the joy of pregnancy that I felt with the first just doesn’t seem to exist. Why is that?
Well, the obvious answer would be, because I know what’s coming, and I’m not just talking about labor either. Honestly, I’m more worried about the next time I’m going to sleep.
With the first, all I thought about WAS the labor. How bad is it going to be? Will there be complications? When can I get the drugs? What if the drugs wear off and I can’t get any more? EPISIOTOMY, I’d rather die! You know, all that stuff.
(FYI: Don’t look up the word EPISIOTOMY on Google, you’ll get a nice display of images that will haunt you for the rest of your life!)
The differences between pregnancy number 1 and number 2 are astounding.
With number 1 I was so incredibly careful about everything I put into my body. I was determined to eat all the right foods, and stay away from the bad stuff.
I think I only allowed myself 1, maybe 2 cups of coffee a day. Now I drink it till it starts to come back up.
I used to scan labels at the grocery store, research better nutrition on the computer, etc. Now, the only label I worry about is the one with the price tag. I even went to my Husbands Christmas party and ate about a pound of crab, not even thinking about it. MERCURY, HELLO! Oops….
Then there’s the baby bump. With the first I documented my bump every month, if not every week. I watched my weight like a hawk, making sure I was gaining exactly what I should be, not too much, and not too little.
Now, I’ve only had my photo taken once, and that was only because I just happened to be standing in front of someone else’s camera. As for the weight gain, I really couldn’t care less. I eat whatever I have to just to get through the day, and then I pray that when I bend over it won’t come back up.
Heavy lifting is a no-no. With the first I avoided lifting anything over 20 pounds just to be safe.
Now, that number has doubled, and the only thing that stands in my way is the enormous basket ball stuck to the front of my body. It makes carrying things extremely awkward.
That brings me to the size of my bump. With my first, I was tiny. I never really got big. With number 2, I surpassed my first pregnancy size somewhere around 6 months. I remember thinking I felt huge with the first, now I could slap myself. My belly button no longer exists, and my skin is so tight I feel like I could burst at any second.
Then there’s the stretch marks! I hardly got any, if I did get any at all, with my first. I was religious about applying lotions day and night. I even carried some with me to work every day in case I felt a little dry.
Now, I don’t have time for that crap! I’m lucky if I even get to shower once a day, let alone spend 10 minutes covering my entire body with lotion.
I also remember obsessing over baby stuff. Clothes, diapers, swings, bouncers, etc. I’d spend hours trying to decide which one was better for baby.
Now, I’m like, “Eh, it’s good enough.” The only thing I obsess over now is the price. FREE is my favorite word! And who cares if it’s used, those stains give it character! Besides, you should see it when my kid gets done with it!
I also remember worrying about whether or not I was going to have a “good” baby. I’ve heard the stories. Mom and Dad bring Baby home, Baby sleeps through the night, hardly ever cries, etc. I know now, such a thing doesn’t really exist, so at least there won’t be that disappointment.
That brings me to my final thought. Regardless of how much this pregnancy differs from the last, one thing remains the same. I really am blessed. I look at Z sometimes and wonder how we got so lucky. She might be a GIANT pain in my ASS sometimes, but damn it! I love her so much!
So at least I have that going for me. I have no delusions about this pregnancy, or what will happen after Baby #2 gets here. I know the reality, and when it gets hard, I can look at Z and remind myself that we can do it, and that in the end, it’s 100% worth it!